I was having this CI-FBI someone is watching me all the time feeling.  I had reasons to believe that
my phone was tapped.  We had already dug up a can of worms at the Department of Mental Health
and Mental Retardation.  Just the care of the children, conditions of the wards they were on, the
smell and the food and lack of professional care and many other inhuman conditions were enough
for me to report and document.  I had been interested in the study of drugs...growing  up during
the sixties and looking deep into the study of various drugs, legal, not legal and those under research.
And not like President Clinton...I will be honest and say I did inhale.

During my research, and a area I had interest in any way was the drugs and medications that were
being given to the patients and residents.  Having in many ways grown up in the drug culture and
was interested from the casual use of kids and pot, to LSD and Harvard studies and the CIA, to
the throzine that was being shot in the arms of the people going over the cocukoo's nest they were
bringing in the hospitals emergency rooms and mental wards where I was wandering and wondering
during the past four years of my life.

Fort Worth Star Telegram front page
 
"Untested" Drug use Claimed- Ben Standley, right and Richard Halpin, who say
they are former employees of the Austin State School, alleged at an Austin new conference.
Wow! is all I can say.   This was a area of my mad research that took me to some  Aldous
Huxley type of dark thoughts of state controlled drugs.  I was digging up research that was going
on in the institutions and I was afraid that some of the deaths could even be because of these
drug experiments.  Sometimes my friends would see me in the streets or at a club in Austin and
they would hug me and say, "Thank God you are okay, and still alive."

I dug up the fact that the state was using the drug Depo-Provera on women for a reason that
I suspected was for  custodial.  One of the side effects of the drug that is women do
not have their period.  You can imagine the problem on the backwards of institutions for the
mentally insane, the mentally retarded, when the moon is full and many of the women are
having their menstrual cycle.

In a August 24, 1973, Press Conference and in the Press Release I stated, "This untested and
detrimental drug, Depo-Provera, has been used on 900 women and girls in our State.  It is
only the tip of a vast iceberg covertly submerged behind the walls of the multi-million dollar
TDMHMR central offices on 45ths Street, so far away from the lives and realities of the
institutionalized retardate...we have information from over six months research that veterinarians
will not use this drug on their dogs for fear of hysterectomies.  We must be collaborators in
creation not conspirators against life.  We must speak out against the negative and custodial
of Dr. David Wade (Deputy Commissioner for the Texas Department of Mental Health and
Mental Retardation, that I am sure hates my guts or just soon have me put out of commission.)
The Press release went on to cover this...

900 Texas Women Given Controversial Drug

Next day the press picked up on my release and supporting documents and the story came out
state wide in the press.  I had opened a can of worms and Dr. David Wade was in the hot seat
and my paranoia that these guys sure don't like me grew.  Scary at night at my house there on
Waller creek under all the trees next the the Elizabeth Ney Museum...
 

"If we could sniff or swallow something that would, for five or six hours each day, abolish our
solitude as individuals, atone us with our fellows in a glowing exaltation of affection and make
life in all its aspects seem not only worth living, but divinely beautiful and significant, and if this
heavenly, world transfiguring drug were of such a kind that we could wake up next morning
with a clear head and an undamaged constitution-then, it seems to me, all our problems (and
not merely the one small problem of discovering a novel pleasure) would be wholly solved
and earth would become paradise."
ALDOUS HUXLEY

AUSTIN-Drugs firms supplying Texas Mental Health and Mental Retardation facilities
during the last six years have made about $500,000 worth of contract grants to the
MH/MR foundation.   Foundation funds are used to supplement salaries of MH/MR
personnel, finance drug research, conduct seminars, pay for advanced training courses and
operate special programs.      SAN ANTONIO EXPRESS--Wed., November 28, 1973.

Wow the heat was up and I was feeling that I had opened a can of worms and this became
a very scary time in my life for I had just grown up as part of the drug culture of the sixties and
was interested in the State of the Drug State...was this before Swine Flu Over The Cuckoo's
Nest?   I began to read BRAVE NEW WORLD by Aldous Huxley

I discovered that there were deaths of children and wards of the state and they were not even
reporting the deaths to the corner.  This was a grave yard like scary thing for me.  I remember
one day I am at a hearing at a Justice of the Peace office and a man comes up and says, "Are
you Benford Standley?"  I tell him that I am.  He said he was (I think the name was) Malcom
Logan from the United States Department of Justice.  I want to have some time to talk to you
and we have someone here from the FBI that is going to want to have some questions to ask
you.  I was 27 years old.  It was all a bit confusing to me.  I also knew that everything that I
said had to be true.  Every word that I wrote had to have facts behind it.

I researched, I wrote, I researched and I talked.  The journalist that picked up on my story and went out and researched and
dug further into the places I gave them leads and they began to tell the story from their pens,
and it gave me credibility and was not just me reporting the darkness that needed to be
exposed in a very corrupt system that let children and youth suffer.  I knew somewhat the
working of a newspaper business and I was in away incorporating these skills into how I
did my research and releases and led the press to the can of worms and let them open the
can much deeper than I could...or wanted.

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